Hash Trash - Run 205

HASH TRASH
Date: 1ST May 2016
Run Number: 205
Hares: Happy and Old Banger
Scribe: Old Banger

‘Keep an eye out for the fish bones’…….there they are……but where is the RV? Nestled in a sleepy hollow, out of sight (and some may say out of their minds), the little people danced under the silvery moon – oh no that’s not right, it was a sunny afternoon and they were gathered to worship that which they call The Hash. At these times they are known as Hashers, and call each other by very curious names.

The group grew to 19, the Hasher-ettes far outnumbering the Hashers. Luvjoy bought his big balls slung across his chest as if he knew not many would be there that day. The cows came along to investigate Stalker’s bike but decided they would not look so cool driving it.
Over the hub bub the GM called for the circle to be formed. Many rituals took place, Light Foot had a down down for being the first home on the last Hash, the Scribe appointed, the Hares were introduced (who talked nonsense), food for the on-on was decided, everyone introduced themselves to the newcomers……..and then we were off.

Up the road we went soon past the famous (hearsay!) Gumusluk Bordello. No invitations were seen to be extended and no Hashers were seen sneaking in – this place was not the final stop! We carried on along the hillside with fabulous views until we made our way down and along the beach. At this point Virgin was spotted shortcutting!
Leaving the beach we staggered onwards and yes inevitably upwards. The final hill being a killer but all managed to get back to the RV.

The GM called for the circle once again and celebrations commenced. Who was the first back?? Was it he who is light of foot again?? Down-downs were awarded to the returnees, Stalker, Fatboy Run and Icky Sue, the newcomers were Chrissie, Tricia, Isabelle and Elizabeth. Tits didn’t explain the rules on hats in the circle so she got a down down. Those with no mugs got a down down. Virgin told a virgin joke and Stalker told a joke that no one got(or maybe it was just me). There were a couple of down downs left so CV, Fishyfingers and Lightfoot’s guest had one for what I don’t know but Happy lustily sung a Hashing song, the words of which I have never heard come out of her mouth before!

And so
On On On

Hash Trash - Run 204

Hash Trash: BH3 Run 204
Date: 24th April 2016
Location: Kızılağaç
Hares: Culture Vulture & Virgin
Scribe: King Crapper

The Gather-round

The sun was shining and a slight breeze blowing.  It was a beautiful afternoon. The faithful 14 gathered in the shade of a large pine tree at the RV across the road from the Mangallar restaurant.
GM Culture Vulture welcomed all to BH3 run number 204.  RA Barrel awarded Culture Vulture the customary drink for being first home on the last run.
RA Barrel then explained the significance of hash 204, this being a substitute for the Kos hash which failed to run due to insufficient attendees.  He had planned to allocate Greek names to each participating hasher for the duration of the Kos hash.  Instead, for the duration of run 204, he renamed Lightfoot, the organiser of the Kos hash ‘screw up’, as Archimedes.
GM Culture Vulture invited the Hares, Virgin and himself, into the circle and briefly explained the run.  It would be flat, and the trail laid on blue flour, white chalk, and toilet paper in open grass areas.  Both back-checks (X’s) and check-backs (T’s) (possibly the other way round?) were used.  Walkers and runners would have the same trail until the runners turned left on an additional loop towards the end.  The walkers would have a final check from which they would have to find the real trail home.  And as a hint, he said runners trail was not laid along any tarmac roads.  It was all as clear as mud!

The Run

On-on was called across the road, down a lane, and behind the Mangallar restaurant.  A truck blocked the lane but Shitter found the way through.  The pack followed, providing much amusement to the workers unloading the truck.   The lane narrowed to a track, and this continued into a field containing a good crop of rusting farm equipment.
The trail then continued up a slope and along tracks and cobbled lanes on the northeast side of the valley, passing a cistern and a group of houses.  Checks, check-backs and back-checks were cleverly used to keep the pack together and at least once, the walkers found themselves at the front.  The trail ascended into scrub-land, and then descended through trees back into the fields.  Archimedes, Shitter and Fishy Fingers led the way across a small gully and into a long narrow field of olive trees with parallel fences that resembled a reservation for an unformed road.  Possibly an example of forward rural planning?  More likely not.
A tarmac road was found and the runners, taking the Hare’s earlier hint, checked the field on the other side.  The ‘toilet paper’ trail was located.  Fishy Fingers expressed a fear of spiders jumping from the cobwebs in the grass, but King Crapper thought the runners were more danger of being attacked by the old lady with a stick who was walking nearby.
The runners/walkers split was found as the trail joined a cobbled road. The runners trail turned left, away from the RV.  It then followed a track up hill and sidled along the southwest side of the valley.  Excellent views of the valley floor below were enjoyed before the runners descended to the RV.  The first walkers and runners arrived back within a minute of each other.  A well-planned and interesting Hash run.

The Down Downs

GM Culture Vulture called the circle.
First in were the Hares.  RA Barrel awarded drinks to Culture Vulture & Virgin.
Next in were the returnees;   Dopey, Claire, Shitter, But But, Archimedes, Old Wreck & King Crapper given drinks.  There were as many returnees as regulars.
Virgin hasher Ozlan was then welcomed into the circle and given a drink.
Miss-namers  Culture Vulture, Claire & Happy were called in for a drink.
Shitter was given a drink for not having picked up the paper on the ‘toilet paper’ segment of the trail.  His excuse was that he is ‘green’ and prefers to use grass.
But But was given a drink for having resigned as Hash Flash but not having anyone to hand over to.  It was said that as so many hashers took photos and provided them on facebook, that a Hash Flash was no longer required.  Not having a chronological photographic record would make writing the Hash Trash more difficult.
Archimedes was then given a drink to commemorate his feat.  He was also invited to act out a traditional Greek plate-smashing scene.  Shards flew, and were later picked up, along with a good number of old screws.
The ‘forgetful ones’; Noddy, Barrel, Happy, Archimedes, Shitter & But But, were invited into the circle and rewarded for having forgotten to bring their hash mugs.   It is difficult to imagine how they can survive without such an valued item of hash equipment.
Finally RA Barrel called the English hashers the circle.  Shitter, Fishy Fingers, Old Wreck, Happy, Claire and Culture Vulture were chastised for not having set a run to commemorate St. Georges day.
The circle was closed and most hashers enjoyed an excellent meal at the Mangallar restaurant.

On-on

Hash Trash - Run 203

HASH TRASH
Run: 203
Date: Sunday 3rd April 2016
Location: Turgutreis
Hares: Fishy Fingers, Muffin Muncher & Daffy
Scribe: Culture Vulture

A delayed start to the opening circle as we all waited for a Virgin Hasher to find (or recognise) the Hash Signs. 14 Hashers eventually arrived and, this run, the Hashers were slightly less outnumbered by the Harriettes (4 to 10).  Where have you all gone Hashers?

Culture Vulture, still as the stand-in GM (hurry back please Hose Handler), opened with a brief explanation of Hashing for the virgins, and then invited in the Hares to give their weird version of the truth about the trail.  Culture Vulture then handed over to Barrel who gave the Down-Down for First Home on the last run.  The RA gave this Down-Down as he demonstrated the way Down-Downs would be given for this Hash only (cocked little finger).  He also predicted that we would all forget for the post-run circle.  Sofie was given one of the Bodrum Hash Naming Hats so we could recognise her on the run and think of an appropriate name for her.

ON-ON was called and off we went – 5 runners (including one hare) and 9 walkers.  In a few places the trail appeared to have been erased, including a couple of checks, but the runners only need input from the hare in one location.  At one point we passed a site named Saka Evleri (Goldfinch Houses).  Unfortunately (for the residents), the bottom of the Initial “S” was obscured by foliage, so it could have read Şaka Evleri (Joke Houses), which was rather appropriate for an April Fool Hash.  Towards the end of the trail, where one of the checks had been erased, the walkers decided they had had enough and decided to short-cut home.  Because of this, the runners arrived back at the RV at almost the exact moment as the bulk of the walkers.  We waited for a while for two missing walkers only to realise that their car was also missing.  One Virgin and one returnee therefore missed the closing circle and the ON-ON-ON.

Culture Vulture then opened the post-run circle by calling in the Hares for the usual abuse.  Yes they did forget the special Down-Down technique – well predicted, Barrel.  A Down-Down for the one remaining Virgin, and Culture Vulture handed over to Barrel.  His first Down-Down was to the hares for forgetting to cock their little fingers.  Next was Culture Vulture for forgetting to appoint a Scribe for the day.  Then Down-Downs were given to Culture Vulture and Barrel for being the only two remaining male Hashers on the Hash again.  Two of our new Harriettes (Mirjam and Vibeke) were called in to run the gauntlet of Hash Names.  Well done the two of them for getting all correct (of course, it helps when the pack is fairly small!). Virgin was called in for not being properly dressed (only a white top, but black leggings were considered not suitable for a Virgin).  Next Sofie was called in for her naming.  After a few suggestions, Daffy was the majority call (she had previously admitted that she walks like a duck).

The circle closed and we proceeded to the Sunset Restaurant for the ON-ON-ON

A good Hash and trail (10km of hilly terrain) - well done hares.

ON-ON

Culture Vulture

Hash Trash - Run 202

 Hares : Tits & Long Willie
When : 20th March 2016
Where : Yaliciftlik
Scribe : Butt Butt

 Today Easter Hash has been put together kindly by Long Willie & Tits ( not sure if they are related )  at the lovely seaside location of Yaliciftlik .

As time approached to 2 pm start,it was interesting & pleasing to see new faces ,In fact they nearly outnumbered the regular hashers, So well done ! Because of Easter Hashers asked to wear yellow and most of hashers came in their yellow outfit.

After the initial welcoming formalities to the returnees and new comers , Hares called into the circle to explain about todays trail most truthful way possible ,we are told that ,run is very smooth ,flat  as usual, plus we were asked to find  and bring back raw or cooked  easter eggs which were  hidden around every circle .
Just before we took of with the accurate information which way we should start ( as Tits didn't know where we should go )  we were greeted by two more Virgin Hashers,

Runners and walkers separated at the beginning of the trail which come together several times later on the trail , run start close to the main road ,  a few- hundred meters later  after circle it is diverted lovely green lanes,
Trail continue all the way up hill and down hill with scenic route , Trail was around 7-8 km for runners and 4-5 km for walkers .
  Out of runners pack Light Foot was the first comer ,  walkers arrived soon after runners ,a few minutes of chit chat and first beers circled called and fun started .

Virgins( there were 6 of them   )called and get their down down for no reason but being virgin , visitors, returnees has their share of down down ,to follow up play a Easter Egg game ,which was quite fun . Many thanks for Hares for beautifully  painted eggs , they were painted very artistic way .
After too many down downs the circled closed and we all went On On On at   Dali Cafe to get our delicious lunch . While we finished our lunch ,Tits & Long Wille bought  out brand new towels to trade for  old ones , paying little bit extra for new ones.The money and old towels will be used for the refugees , thank you all who donated but mainly Tits & Long Wille who had been working all winter to help refugees.

Lunch followed by Wine testing & buying nearby local wine  producer .

On On

Butt Butt

Hash Trash - Run 201

Bodrum Hash House Harriers
Hash Trash, Run 201
Hares: Noddy and Barrel
Scribe: Doggy Style

This is going to be short as I’m writing it almost a month after the event….

We all assembled at the Hares’ house on a sunny afternoon and the stand in GM and RA opened up the circle.   Fishy Fingers had the down down for FRB from the previous run, then the hares told us various truths and less-truths about the upcoming route.  It was noted that a new Hash Flash was required, and Happy happily volunteered.  And so we were off…

The trail took us along the seafront in Yalikavak, through the boatyards, and then we started heading upwards.  You can always guarantee a fair few hills on a Yalikavak hash!  Some on-road, some off-road, all with great scenery and views.  There were a few dubious scrambling moments, and I was a bit worried that Fishy Fingers was going to fall backwards onto my head at one point, but we made it through.

When all were safely back, the circle was reopened and we all gave our sincere compliments to the hares for the trail.  Introductions were made to the virgins and they had their first down-down.  I was brought in for “lost property” having not taken loving-care of my mug and leaving it at Hose Handler’s and Helmet Polisher’s house.    As it was Mother’s Day, Muffin Muncher brought Fishy Fingers into the circle and presented her with a beautiful necklace, and then to make their celebration really special, Barrel decided that they should be subjected to my tuneful Welsh singing.  Not sure anyone appreciated that!  The misnamers were brought in, and Muffin Muncher and Just Sophia were awarded down-downs for some misdemeanour.  I can’t remember what, but I’m sure there were various options.  As the only men on the hash, Barrel and CV drank their beer down in a manly manner, and then the RA in-training (aka Muffin Muncher) came in to tell us some jokes that had us rolling on the floor with laughter (for some reason, there is no photographic evidence of this).
The circle was brought to a close and off we headed to Kosede to tuck into our liver and onion and fish and chips etc.  A great hash – thank you to the hares, and to everyone there!

On On, Doggy Style

Hash Trash - Run 200

Hares : Culture Vulture & Virgin
When :21st February 2016
Where : Gumusluk
Scribe : Hose Handler

Well we all finally made it hash run 200 well done all of us!!!!! The run started at 1pm at CVs & Virgins house, a VERY good turn out from our Fethiye friends. The hash was called by the GM at 1pm sharpish as we were waiting for some late hashers (Captain Crease) great to see him again. Luvjoy was called in for the FRB last run well done, Then the hares were called in Culture Vulture & Virgin, & of course they said nice & short, flat with plenty of easy routes, as they were talking about the run you could see there noses growing inch by inch!! Then Barrel was called in got a pat on the back for the dry day but the WIND was biting brrrrrr!! so ho hum. He told a good joke made us all laugh. Then we were all off for the run.

Left out of there house & through some lovely mandolina trees, I hope everyone picked at least one each, (I did) yum yum. dodging those "wild" cows as well was a bit wobbly (me being a townie)  We settled down for a lovely run with Luvjoy, Fishy Fingers, Barrel, Hose Handler, Bugle Bum, & Going Down (Looking good by the way) we all went at a fair old pace finding the trail very well. Over wooden poles, through creaky gates we all went on on enjoying a fantastic view of Gumsluk from high up, mind you the wind was biting & the waves were crashing bitter cold but we all ran on, up MASSIVE  hills puff puff!!! but as we all know if you go up you have to come down & we did right down to those crashing waves lovely!!. With a good couple of hooks & lots of detours  we all stuck together. Just as were getting close to CVs house Barrel said "Their house is just on the left" & you guessed it we turned right for another good km run nice. We all made it back to CVs house puffing & panting (9 kms ) I was told.

The circle was called by HH & he called the hares in the circle for a bit of ribbing & a down down was well deserved (Good run CV & Virgin I loved it) Then HH called them back in for a down down for being the perfect hosts well done you two!! A couple of virgins were called in for a down down they enjoyed the experience, Then in came the returnees Dopey, Captain Crease, Happy, Stalker, & a few more faces had a good down down, good to see you all again. Then handed over to the RA & he made a "corner" out of the circle (Don't ask) & he gave a down down for Culture Vulture & Wicked Willy for being mad keen hashers ie they have done at least 1000000  runs between them, well done you two. Then in came Wicked Willy as he is Fetheye GM & he gave a few down downs to the virgins & a couple of new Fetheye hashers. In came the Fetheye RA (I have forgotten his hash name sorry) I will get a down down for that. He told a very good joke to warm some people up very good one as well. He gave a few down downs for the Fetheye hashers good for them. After a few more down downs to a lot more hashers the circle was closed as the ice was hanging of a few VERY cold hashers (Tits) brrrr. Then they all piled into a few cars vans & other transport to a great venue for some well deserved food yum yum & plenty of beers as well!!


Once again thanks for all the Fetheye hashers coming all that way to make our 200th hash a special day.

See you all at the end of April.
Regards HH

Hash Trash - Run 199

Hares : Hose Handler & Helmet Polisher
When :7th February 2016
Where : Bodrum
Scribe : Muffin Muncher

Run 199 was to be held in Bodrum and was the route that was supposed to have been Run 198 but the wimpy hashers that turned up for that decided it was "too cold" and they tell me hashers do it in any weather !

The circle was called and Luvjoy was called in ( not as FRB as there wasn't one on account of there actually being no run) but to recognise his 100th Run from the hash before ! The GM and RA came in and did there thing and then On On was called and off we set .

The runners and walkers weren taken through the back streets of Bodrum with a shortcut for the walkers and at one point as the runners came stampeding past us Fishy Fingers who had dressed for the Artic decided she was too warm and started doing a striptease throwing her hat , scarf and goodness knows what else at me to carry ( I think I should be renamed Muffin the Mule nevermind Muffin Muncher !!) . Following a stroll back along the seafront we headed back out past the cruise port and to the small beach for the closing circle .

I know there were down downs given for lots of stuff but don't ask me to remember as I struggle to remember what day it is and what I had for breakfast !I know there were lots of cute dogs though as I was given the hash camera and took lots of doggie pictures and selfies which Fishy Fingers didn't appreciate !

On On On was called and we went to Hose Handlers and Helmet Polishers home for some delicious home cooked cottage pie and curry and then cake and custard which was truly delicious !!

On On Muffin the Mule sorry Muffin Muncher !!