Hash Trash - Run 160

Run 160 Turgutreis Sunday 24th August 5pm
Hares : Hose Handler & Shitter
Scribe : Anonymous

It was a hot steamy early evening & 20+ keen (or mad) hashers turned up on Turgetreis beach ready & willing to run/walk a good 6/7km The Gm called the circle together at 5pm to give the front runner last hash the down down well done Shitter! Then the hare were called in Shitter & Hose Handler & after a few TALL stories ie flat short all down hill they were done. Then the RA was called in & he told the virgin runners about the finer details of how the is set ie circles & check backs, then he called on on & the intrepid runners were off under a big dust cloud phew!!!
The "run" started nicely plenty of circles & back checks to keep the front runners from zooming off in the heat of the day, through some lovely fields full of cows & wild bulls (I am not a country person) don't know how to deal with the wild animals!! After a few more back checks we hit the main road & one of the hares said to a few walkers that there is a "short cut" just turn left onto the road for a few hundred yards then you will be back on the trail, so a few "volunteers" took up the challenge. Of course the runners & a few fast walkers took up the long route so off we went & of course it was all uphill We attacked the hills with gusto there was a few back checks all on the top of hills well done Helmet Polisher she went to the top of one hehe!! Then as we got down from the hilly bit we had to get across the main road & there was Hose Handler  waiting for us telling the way as we had to go through a hotel & it was marked the day before but the old hose reel was out & all the marks were washed away we had to run past a very smelly cess pit pow wee did that pong!!! then there was a very nice ahh moment we had to go past a load of new puppies we had to make sure the Muffin Muncher didn't smuggle one into her backpack I know she would have if she could. Then a nice run along the beach & back to the on in!! Well done one & all.
When all the runners/walkers all puffed & panted back the GM called the circle together & straight away he called in the hares Shitter & Hose Handler & of course after a few bits of banter from the crowd they got a down down, (well done you two) then the GM called in King Crapper for a special down down as he has hit a mile stone in the Bodrum hash he has done 50 hashes so full to the brim with water (he was driving) a very nice tankard was awarded to him well done KC The returnees were called in there were five of them to many to mention a down down was given then there were two vir-gins (rare in Bodrum) friends of Tits they got a down down, Then it was the turn of the RA in he came & straight away he got Stalker in for the tea pot stance ( I think Stalker enjoys a few down downs) In came Fishy Fingers for a down down for nearly getting the hash shit for not doing all the admin but Fishy being Fishy she pulled through well done. Just as she was going back the RA called her back in for another down down as she is celebrating her twenty first birthday on Friday. Then Helmet Polisher "reminded" the RA that it was Hose Handlers birthday next week so a down down was given to him, (Apparently he is 21+21+17) Just as he walking back to the circle old hawk eyes RA noticed he was wearing a new pair of trainers so back he came he did say something about being second hand but that was dismissed straight away so off came his trainer for a down down (nice) Then the RA called in Shitter & Butt Butt for they were getting a bit loved up I think they were holding hands the young lovers a quick down down was given to them as we were getting a few stares from the locals so we had to stop on the qui__
So we all went to another part of the beach where Stalker & I love Clocks had a huge bbq ready for some good grub & a few beers & a good hash & good food was had by all.
So well done Shitter & Hose Handler.
From the Mysterious Scribe!!!?

Hash Trash - Run 159

Run 159 - Turgutreis Monday 11th August 2014

Hares : Fishy Fingers & Doggy Style 

Scribe : Semen

Here is the hash trash for the Bodrum Hash House Harriers Run No 159.

It all started at 5pm on Monday 11 August as the previous day was election day which meant no alcohol, hence the change in date!

The hares, Fishy Fingers and Doggy Style set the run from the Verdat School in Turgutreis.

To start the proceedings the stand in GM, Dopey explained his new role by showing everyone his hat where it was printed

Lieutenant
Assistant
Deputy
Trainee
Vice
GM

He first called in the grandmother, Happy (as her grandson, ? was back in the UK) who was first home on run 158 for the customary down down. Happy downed the beer with aplomb which would have really impressed her grandson if he had been there.

Fishy Fingers and Doggy Style explained the run and then off we went.

The run was fairly flat through all sorts of terrain and different areas of Turgutreis that I had not seen before.

We passed  a few cactii where people had their photo taken and through some dry streams and over fields.

We passed a scarecrow lounging in a seat waving to us as we went by.

We also went over a very rickety bridge at one stage but all arrived safely back at the RV outside the school.

We had to wait a bit for three stranglers who got lost which included Muffin Muncher who should have known better as she helped a bit with setting the run.

When we did get the circle together, Dopey came into the middle to oversee the proceedings with confidence and with personality which goes well with the hash.  Well done Dopey.

There were 19 of us during the run to be joined before the end circle by 2nd Hand Dish Washer. 

It was great to see her again and she was duly honoured with a few down downs.

First the hares, Fishy Fingers and Doggy Style were called into the middle to receive down downs for setting the run.

Then Virgin was brought in the middle for forgetfulness and having to go back home for something and missing the run.

The returnees of Noddy and Tinkerbelle were also called in.

The RA then took over and brought in the only other Virgin among us closely followed by a visitor who was Turkish but ran in Bahrain.

Then 2nd Hand Dishwasher was brought in for being a teapot and eventually got it right by drinking from the spout.

2nd Hand Dishwasher was then brought in again for forgetting her mug together with Noddy. Happy and Tits.

I was brought in and given my 100 run T-shirt which I had to write my name on the back which was a bit of an effort.

The RA seemed to try and get Tinkerbelle to have a down down for various offences but each time she managed to get out of it.

There was many more and Shitter, Dopey, the visitor from Bahrain and the hares were the major offender.

At one stage there was a picture taken of the 5 Tiller Girls, Virgin, 2nd Hand Dishwasher, Fishy Fingers, Butt Butt and Doggy Style showing their thighs. So, not to be outdone the 5 Pott Belly Pigs, I Love Clocks, Stalker, Shitter, Dopey and yours truly had their picture taken showing off our bellies.

We then had a group photo taken and most of us then headed off to the on on on... on the beach.

Before this off went Fishy Fingers and Muffin Muncher to collect the BH3 signs on their bikes.

A big thank you to Fishy Fingers and Doggy Style for arranging everything.  A great day was had by all.

Semen

Hash Trash - Run 158

Run 158 : Akyarlar / Turgutreis Sunday 27th July 2014
Hares : Culture Vulture & Virgin
Scribe : Happy


Thank you RA for providing us with excellent weather and a superb location (even though we did have to negotiate an off road rally to get there.) No worries about onlookers  watching us drink alcohol in public - we were in the middle of nowhere with eagles soaring above us! Idylic !! The circle was called and the GM was just about to start when another car arrived leaving a trail of dust behind it - it was Dopey - late again!!!!  The cicle resumed once Salim had parked up.   2 handicaps were handed out by the RA one to Stalker and one to Salim but no explanation as to why was given at this point. All would be revealed later after the trail. It was announced that there was to be a naming of Kieren and a few suggestions were made as he was handed his teletubbies style hat which he was to wear for the duration of the hash -phew in that heat !!! The hares were called in and announced that this was going to be a short run - we've heard that before! but it turned out that they were telling the truth!! We all set off on the trail with Hash Dash and Hose Handler setting the pace. Bringing up the rear was Stalker who was determined to try to complete his first ever Hash. Half way round he did have to have a 10 minute rest to take pressure off his back but then he soldiered on to the end arriving back at the RV not too far behind everyone else. After we had all had a much needed drink the circle was called. Various down downs were awarded Happy and Stalker were in the circle again for becoming new grandparents! Those Kellys breed well!! RA was given a down down for wearing odd shoes ! very odd!!! It was then time to reveal why dopey was given the tin helmet to wear - apparently he had fallen arse over tits (RA 's words not mine!) on the previous hash so it was for his protection and Stalker was awarded the hash Shit for failing to return the BH3 sings to Culture Vulture. Each were given a down down.  Then out of the hash bag came a bunch of T-shirts to be awarded to each hasher who completes 100 runs with BH3 a lovely Bodrum scene on the front and the hash logo on the back each to be personalized with indelible marker by the hasher it is given to . So in stepped Culture Vulture, Virgin , Hose Handler and Helmet Polisher to receive theirs and sign them ! Next the naming - various suggestions were made but as he is a serious Minecraft fan a name of one of the characters was chosen CREEPER  and so Kieren was duly named.  Having exhausted all reasons to hand out down downs the circle was closed and we all headed off into the sunset!              

Hash Trash - Run 157

Bodrum Hash House harriers

Date: July 13^th 2014

Run: 157

Site: On the road to Yashi (or thereabouts)

Attendees: 22+2

Hares: Dopey & Hosier Handler (or thereabouts)

As Dopey was the main antagonist, perhaps he can tell us why the dwarves are so miserable? Well, it’s because 6 of them aren’t ‘Happy’. And so, surprise, surprise, the majority of no hopers were in situ well before the appointed time of 17.00 hours; Vulture Culture and his Virgin (perhaps someone should give him lessons or advice?) were busy quenching thirsts and collecting dosh; a circle was called by our esteemed GM, presumably in consultation with our RA, as the hottest spot within 500m was selected for our gathering - we were duly subjected to the bi-weekly ramblings: the guest, a local lady answering to Eileen (no, I can’t tell that joke) was introduced to the assembled hashers, each stating his name, rank and number (your lowly scribe accepting the role of Clockmaker 2, today); the previous week’s leading FRB was cajoled and given a heavy wallop of beer to slow him down; and the hares (no harettes this week) explained the intricacies of placing chalk marks along roads and paths, with no back checks and then the complication – a trail for runners (R) and a trail for walkers (W) but isn’t this discrimination? What about Walkers who run or Runners who walk? Shouldn’t we have a trail for Male Walkers who sometimes run (Wunkers) and Female Runners who occasionally walk (Fulkers)? And so we staggered, lurched, shuffled off seeking chalk (mainly on the left except when on the right) and then, as we departed, steeling ourselves to dodge the speeding cars, in sped Latefoot (and no his Iranian beauty was NOT responsible for his tardiness, he always looks embarrassed, especially when taking his client’s briefs). And on we ran, the runners in one direction the walkers another and the Wunkers and Fulkers in one or the other; past the fields, mooing cows, squawking birds, barking dogs and itinerants, all reminiscent of a farm in Turkey…..along the road, back onto farm tracks and then another R&W challenge – and onwards enduring the ankle breaking summer river bed; those who survived found another track, a slope and wonderful views; and there somewhere in the distance, our On On site; a rapid shuffle up the last incline along the busy road and we were back, another lovely Aegean walk, peaceful with no interruptions of FRBs encouraging back runners with cries of On On – no, the poor old Wunker and four Fulkers staggered home after a mere 60 minutes, challenging all odds and ready to accept the non-existent accolades.

And so another circle: the Hares were rightly praised for making a challenge out of a simple walk; the guests and returnees were welcomed back; the pinkies were grouped together to determine any similarities; your honourable scribe was cajoled for being your scribe (but no extra beverage was proffered in spite of hat wearing, holding hips and gob shyting); virtually everyone else was given the excess ‘down downs’;  a late announcement was then made that the run on August 10 ^th (the day of the election, when alcohol is banned in public) would be held on the following day (when alcohol is banned in public); and so dispersion, either to Vera’s on the coast (for those not sports oriented) or to The Local Pub for the football aficionados – a 1-0 win/loss for one of the teams: And so the genie offered one wish:  I’d like ‘Everlasting life’ was the response: ‘I cannot give you that’, replied the genie. ‘Ok then’, I’d like ‘Life until England win the World Cup’. ‘As I said, I can’t give you that’….hmmm

JAPID

On On

Hash Trash - Run 156

Run 156 - Gumusluk ( Sunday 29th June 2014)

Hares : Tits & Up For Anything 

Scribe : Fishy Fingers 

On a beautiful sunny Sunday afternoon we all gathered together ( eventually) at the football field ( the new one of course) in Gumusluk and when the circle was eventually called Shitter was given a down down by the GM for fist home on the previous  run. The hares were called in to explain the marking of the trail and it was announced that there would be a refreshment stop at Tits house ( those who knew where she lived now groaned in anticipation of the length of the run and the size of the hill ) . They also announced that the On On On would be held in the beautiful garden of I.L.C and The Only Gay in the Village by BBQ or picnic . Then came the request to rename I.L.C as some hashers were uncomfortable saying her name , so for the first time in the history of BH3 we were asked to think of a new hash name . Also it was decided to name two other hashers who had done a few hashes so Debbie and Uktu were to get hash names too. The RA then held the circle and did his thing ( sorry my memory is bad) and Hash Flash Butt Butt asked if we could take a group photo each hash so she doesn’t have to take 400 pics each hash ( sorry Butt Butt only joking ). So when this was taken On On was called .

Off we set towards the picturesque sea front of Gumusluk that’s so pretty all year round , then off around the coast road for the 10 mile hike towards a well needed refreshment stop . The last hill proved to slow the runners down as they continued checking up and down for marks and pretty much all together runners and walkers arrived at the oasis . There waiting for us was a delicious sangria or wine or beer or soft drinks available . Many thanks to Tits mum for being the a wonderful hostess along with Tits . Sadly we knew the trail was only ½ done so off we set again ( or for those who wished a lift back was available ) . Back along the road we went this time with stunning views from above amd when the views are like that no one really noticed how long the trail was . Eventually we all arrived back safely to the RV, and the circle was called .

In came the hares and it was agreed it was a excellent hash that really stretched our legs . Next up down downs for the usual suspects misnamers , pink ,virgins and returnees , then in came CV with a bag belonging to King Crapper and a tale relayed how the bag had been lost and locked and he earned a down down for his mistake. Next up were gifts aplenty for the hashers who should have gone to the Nash Hash in Ordu but didn’t make it lovely lilac T-shirts sporting the Ordu badge .Then onto the namings and renaming , up first I.L.C names were thrown in but nothing that captured us so back out she went. Next up Debbie there were a few suggestions but Ikki Su proved most popular ( due to her carrying 2 bottles of water around  the entire run) , in she went to drink her litre of beer and was named . Next up Uktu again plenty of suggestions but most popular Sticky Fingers as she designed the stickers for the hash a couple of years ago , in for beer and duly named she joined the Finger Family !. Then as we were about to head off to eat I.L.C made a comment About being “Up For Anything” oops there it was her new name so in for another litre of beer she came and for the 1^st time in BH3 history there was renaming so our circle of happy hashers closed the circle and went to eat with wonderful hospitality again from Up for Anything and The Only Gay in the Village . All in all another excellent hash from BH3 !

On On Fishy Fingers !