Hash Trash - Run 143

Hash 143 had been declared a Valentine’s Hash with hashers encouraged to wear red (or pink!!!) for the day.  A good motley crew of around 15 to 20 hashers turned up and it was good to see Ali for the first time even though his homemade walking stick looked a bit dangerous – was he expecting to get attacked?  Fishy Fingers was carrying a plate of homemade cup-cakes that would be on offer in the closing circle, so it was good that the RA for the day had organised fine weather to replace the earlier rain and so avoid them getting a bit soggy.

Pisser opened the circle trying to arrange it to avoid the mud patch created by some earlier rain.  Culture Vulture was given a down-down for FRB from the previous run even though he hadn’t completed the whole route (most marks had been cleaned up due to concerned villagers, Jandarma, and Zabita, thinking they might be poison for animals).  After welcoming a new virgin and entertaining as with his usual comedic discourse he handed over to the RA for the day Culture Vulture.  Before calling in the hares to explain what about the run would be different to usual, CV thought it necessary to bore the assembly with a discourse about what the usual marks and calling should be.  Then he proceeded to inform the circle that they shouldn’t believe a word the hares said anyway.  Totally flat, short and not a single step they said (Oh yeah? - more of that later).  The RA then explained that warming up should actually be stretching and, because of the warm winter anyway told a brilliant joke about Antarctic penguins and their mourning the dead ones (yeah – OK maybe the Scribe is a tad biased in his praise!).  A bit of penguin stretching finalised with most of the circle mourning “Freeze a Jolly Good Fellow” and then ON-ON was called.

Fortunately the hares had informed Jandarma and Zabita about the trail this time and, low and behold, all the marks were there – or were they?  Plenty of good calling, but only three runners today with Pisser, Culture Vulture and Butt Butt who were joined by the front hare Doggy Style.  Those front runners met the walkers several times as the trail forced them back and forth.  Then into the warren of houses (and steps!!) that make up the north-west end of Kadıkalesi.  Here the hares had managed to miss a few marks in places to slow down and fool the front runners – with success, so the walkers were back with the runners.  A good ON-IN provided and, after a lengthy false check, Pisser eventually caught up with Culture Vulture and then graciously allowed him to trot home in front even though CV had directed him home through a river that seems to be effluent from the Gümüşlük Waste Water Plant.

Not too long after that all the other hashers reached the RV where Fishy Fingers offered her cup-cakes before the GM called for the circle.  He welcomed today’s virgin hasher and then today’s award winner - the double virgin from the last run (new hasher and hare on the same run).  Then a couple of warm-up jokes and he handed over to the RA.  The RA started with another brilliant joke on the Valentine theme (well if no-one else is going to volunteer for Scribe, I don’t see why I shouldn’t go a bit over the top with praise!!).  Then he brought in the hares for the blatant pre-run untruth – not a single step.  Yes, Doggy Style, there were no single steps, just rakes of steps totalling several thousand at least.  A Down-Down was called for those not wearing red or pink as requested.  By the time shoe laces, bras, knickers and such paraphernalia had been counted, this left just one Hasher.  Butt Butt was brought for forgetting her mug again (and really had left it at home this time).  Pisser and Flasher were quick to pick up their mugs just before this as they had anticipated a down-down for the mugless. 

The RA then brought in Pisser and Flasher anyway to congratulate them on selling their house after 3 years on the market.  Pisser announced that the next hash would be his last with BodrumH3 until the 150^th and birthday hash in May.  He had asked Hose Handler (as current vice GM) to stand in as GM and Culture Vulture to stand in as RA until then.  They were then thanked for their inputs to the Hash over the past four years or so and Pisser admitted to preferring being RA to GM.

Pisser then returned to close the circle and called ON-ON-ON.  As the RA didn’t attend the ON-ON-ON, the scribe will end at this point.

ON-ON

Culture Vulture