Hash Trash - Run 114

Location: Islamhaneleri

Hares: Pubes, Spunk, Fishy Fingers, Doggy Style

Scribe: Flasher

All 17 of us gathered together down a little side road of Islamhaneleri for run 114 which just happened to be our Valentines Run, the road was wet but the RA has once again done his job and kept the pouring rain at bay.

GM called the circle at precisely 2pm, first things first, a down down for the first three home on the last hash and then the hares were called in , Fishy Fingers, I loves Spunk, Pubes and Doggy Style who were asked to give us an explanation of the route. So! This is how it went! The runners, follow the trail but if it’s washed away  go for a run and head for the mosque on the way back. The walkers, stay with us, we think we have remembered the way but not sure so can someone bring some beer so we can drink as we walk, we will still get lost but if we’re half cut we won’t care! Charming!  The RA was then invited in, gave us a bit of relig advice ;)))) got us  grooving on down with a warm up and on on was called and off we went.


I was making no bones about it, I was practically joined at the hip with Fishy Fingers because to be fair the other three didn’t look as if they had a clue what was going on and I was proved right on more than one occasion.


 

We found Pubes drinking gin and tonic in a local cay house, the bloody shame of it, Spunky was playing top up with the beer so was drunk almost from the start and didn’t realise he was a hare until Virgin, Knockers, Pussy Galore and the GM  asked him which way to go, again the bloody shame of it and as for Doggy Style, she was hobbling away at the back {sore knee} shouting, “If you’re lost, I didn’t set this bit”, well we were lost, we were lost from the onset, again, the bloody shame of it! I must point out at this stage that While Your Down There was walking with Doggy Style and I’m sure I heard the pair of them talking about ‘the holiday fund’, words to the effect of “No I fooled them at the meeting, they think there is less money than there is, we’re on target kid”!!!!


  

The frb’s, the poor frb’s  were also lost, we could hear on on being called in every direction, CV was calling from front of us, RA to the right of us, Shitter to the left and Luvjoy and Hose Handler from behind us. Now here’s a good one, when we asked how come this could have happened, the hares told us a dolmus had parked on the markings for the runners. Come on, we might look tup but give us a bit of credit, as if...... lol

In the mean time, myself, Butt Butt and Fishy Fingers are on trail, walking at a speed that any Olympic walker would be proud of, we went up hills, snow capped mountains,  (views to die for) waded through ravishing flowing rivers and then back up the last little hill before the final and very welcome descent into Islamhaneleri, we were worn, we looked worn but we did it, so a big pat on the back to us three, I really think we are dynamic!

I have no idea how but we did all end up back at the RV, it seems that miracles do happen my  fellow hashers. Lovely cold efes and Fishy Fingers Valentine fairy cakes were in abundance and extremely nice and went down the old hatch very nicely.

GM called for a circle to be formed and the ‘hares’ were given their down down for such a strategic trail (Jeez I don’t think the SAS would of had a clue), he then called in the returnees, (I would like to mention a special welcome back to two of our hashers who have been missed by us all, Old Peculiar and Knockers, who have had a really rough time of it of late but am glad to say that Old Peculiar is on the mend, looking good and will be raring to go hopefully sooner rather than later), down downs were given, I think we had a couple of wrong hands so a few more given out.

RA then entered the circle, miss namers were called in and I think Shitter had two down downs for wrong hand once again! Flasher (Moi) was then called in for being the new Hash Flash and as I was leaving the circle, CV shouted out ‘give us a flash’ so of course I did. It was then pointed out to the RA that Doggy Style had new trainers on, so off they came and she drank twice from one shoe.

Now this is where it gets interesting, we then packed up the beer, table, eskis and water into the back of our car and scarpered back into Turgutreis. I was told by Virgin when I first started hashing, ‘what happens on the hash, stays on the hash’!!!!!!

On On On was at Gian Carlos, he did us proud again with his fabulous Italian food, wine and beer flowed, it actually, flowed, flowed and flowed for some of us, it did show on two of the hairs, they looked very tired! I think I can speak for us all, we had a great day so I suppose this is the time I should thank the hares. Thank you all, I hope you take this trash with a pinch of salt and in the spirit it was written. No I do not, take a hint, stop blaming each other and poor dolmus drivers!